Family time, quality time
When was the last time you spent time with your husband, wife or children? By time, I mean quality time. A time when you drop everything else and focus on the family. A time when you shut out the world and concentrate on the gifts, I mean the human gifts God has given to you – the people that should matter most to you; the ones that makes your world go round. The ones that give real meaning to your very existence?
We live in a world now when everyone seems to be eager to make ends meet. We are in a world where everyone seems to be on a fast lane; where the only thing that makes sense to us is how to make money in the desperation to make ends meet. We live in a world where businesses and careers have taken over everything, including our homes. As it stands, we spend more time outside the home than we spend at home – we tend to find more comfort outside than our homes.
Time changes yesterday. In those days, people derived joy in spending quality time with their family members. It is no longer so as we are all in a hurry to get quick wealth, or compete with other persons to fund a lifestyle that we ordinarily cannot afford. We are in competition with others that we tend to even forget the essence of our being.
We hardly have time to spend with our families, particularly with children. For children, spending time with their family helps shape them into good responsible adults, improve their mental health and develop strong core values. It makes it easier for children to share their thoughts and worries when going through tougher times. Family time creates loyalty to each other and a feeling of support. Children grow up so fast we should make use of the time we have.
The relationship you share with your children is very important in the sense that they should not for any reason act in ways that would bring shame and reproach to the family.
There was a video making rounds the internet where two young Nigerian boys who are in prison in America committed a crime known as sextortion. The brothers hacked into an American girl’s twitter account and requested a 17-year-old Michigan boy to send his nudes, which he did. He was later threatened that the picture will be posted on the internet; this issue lasted 6 hours and at the end, the 17-year-old shot himself dead. What am I saying in essence, shouldn’t our children be able to tell us anything at all? It shows that communication is somewhat lacking in the home of the dead teenager.
We shouldn’t be hostile or give them face all the time. It scares them, it also makes them feel inferior and as we know, inferiority complex is a bad disease.
Family time is the best parental control method. It could be the time for visitation, to visit grandparents and relatives. It is the right of children where parents curtailed danger towards the kids and a partner to his or spouse.
Like Frank Oliseh will ask during Newsline: It’s 9’O Clock, do you know where your children are at the moment? The question is deliberate. The fast loss of morale is due to lack of family time. Some parents will as early as 4:00am, leave for work before the children are out of bed and return late at night when they are in bed leaving them at the mercy of nannies and house helps. Once upon a time, a man decided to give his family a day out of his everyday busy schedule and the children were wondering who he is. They went ahead to ask their mother who this man who is acting like he knows them is and you could see the shock on their faces when she said he is their Daddy. Now, how has the wife been balancing the home, how has she been filling in for him, who has been playing the fatherly role in terms of discipline on the children?
Another woman who is a banker in one of the states, goes out early to work and leaves her child with her house help and one of the days, she heard her children, the ones she conceived and birthed after 9 months calling the house help Mummy, she was shocked to say the least. She immediately sent in her resignation letter and dedicated her whole time to her children.
Yesterday, I was going through Facebook when I saw a post where someone was saying that her daughter who she left with her mother has started hawking Okpa at the age of 8. She made moves to go pick her from the village to come stay and manage whatever she has with her.
Another said she saw a little masquerade pursuing people and when she started running, the masquerade said: Mummy no run, na me, Tegbolo, na my enemies I dey chase. How did it get to this, where did she miss it in raising her child in the right way?
Do you remember Abdulmutalib, the son of First Bank Chairman in Lagos, who was caught with a bomb? Can we say the father didn’t inculcate manners or train him on the right part? Was he always available for his family. Does he create time even little for them? Does he show his family love or he carries face for them? What did he do differently? Why did his son decide to soil the name he has been protecting for more than 50 years in just a day?
Many children get to learn a lot of things from outsiders because their parents do not have time or do not create the atmosphere that is expected in a family. They begin to discuss their possible life’s challenges and worries who seem to be giving them a listening ear than their parents. Most times, they are led astray with the wrong counsel. It’s high time parents created more time for their children and even themselves.
The loyalty of partners can be tested and verified through family time hence, it is expedient to create quality time for the family to foster love, development and loyalty.
